197.2. Question

[likefatherlikeson]

Not wanting to answer a question and not knowing how are two different things.

Comments

[ifeelthelove]

You want me to go away and leave you alone?

[likefatherlikeson]

Kind of. But don't take that personally. It doesn't mean you have to go away.

[ifeelthelove]

I can. I get it, you know that. Sometimes, being alone is all you can handle.

[likefatherlikeson]

I can't even really handle that right now, so it's okay. You're nice company.

[ifeelthelove]

What does it feel like? The bipolar, I mean.

[likefatherlikeson]

Which part?

[ifeelthelove]

The part you're feeling now, I guess. I know a lot of it is too hard. You can tell me to go away any time. I won't get upset or offended.

[likefatherlikeson]

Tired and heavy. Never enough energy to move, and I just want to lie in bed and forget about everything. But I know if I do that, I'll never get better. So, you keep going, but it feels like I don't have enough energy or strength to move, or even talk. I don't really know how else to explain it. I might have something better when I'm not this sick.

[ifeelthelove]

Is there anything that helps, I don't know, drown a little of it out, even just to give you a rest? I know it's not as easy as just doing something that makes you happy.

[likefatherlikeson]

Music. Music kind of blocks some of it sometimes. Not all the time. Not like this. I just got to wait this out and wait for medication and stuff to work. My pup too. She's a therapy dog. She knows when I'm sick and sticks real close. I miss her.

[ifeelthelove]

Is the music helping now? Maybe she can come visit you. If she's a therapy dog, they might be okay with it. It'd be cool to meet her.

[likefatherlikeson]

It stops the quiet. I don't like the quiet when I'm like this. My brain wants to fill the silence, and usually with more confusing shit. You think they would? I haven't had her that long, but she was trained to take care of me. She always knows when I'm sick.

[ifeelthelove]

Does it just feel like your brain is overloaded? A whole lot of everything but nothing makes sense? Why don't you ask your dad to talk to the people here? I mean, the place is all about patient-focused therapy.

[likefatherlikeson]

That's how it feels when I'm manic. When I'm depressed, everything makes all the wrong sense and I feel like I want to do... unhealthy things. If that makes sense. I guess I could do that. She's real little. She won't grow very big. Being compact, so I can take her with me places.