179.1. Worry

[burninginside]

It's easier to worry about someone else's problems than your own.

Comments

[arrecho]

I know that feeling. Are you okay?

[burninginside]

Kind of feeling like I should be weirded out or something...

[arrecho]

But you're not actually weirded out?

[burninginside]

I just had a threesome with you and your boyfriend. That should be weird, right?

[arrecho]

Maybe for some. We're not really a conventional situation though, are we?

[burninginside]

Not in the slightest. It's not weird for you?

[arrecho]

Weird's not the right word.

[burninginside]

Then what is?

[arrecho]

It all felt kind of easy, to be honest. Though, I guess we need to think about the aftermath.

[burninginside]

I think I should just remove myself from the situation. I don't want to fuck things up for you and Presley.

[arrecho]

Or you could just stay.

[burninginside]

Why do you even want me in your same breathing space... let alone this... after everything I did to you?

[arrecho]

Because I still care about you. We both want to keep helping you. Actually, the change in you was obvious after you spoke to Justin. I think it was some shock therapy or something.

[burninginside]

Okay, then how is Presley okay with this? Yeah, that's exactly what it was. I was talking to him, and all of a sudden I was wondering how I would feel if it was my son in that much pain. He's not running from his pain like I am, he's a survivor, and I'm a coward.

[arrecho]

Because he's amazing, and open-minded. He's also very compassionate and wants to help. It's in his nature. Do you think you'll ever want to try to see your kid? Maybe you are a coward, but you don't have to stay one. Did you talk to him or did he just talk to you?

[burninginside]

That much I can tell. I don't know, Em. Sometimes, I think maybe, but it usually gets drowned out in not wanting me to fuck his life up. Oh no, he wouldn't talk to me unless I talked to him. It was give and take, no doubt about that. Because I felt obligated to talk, I did and I think it helped. If kid like that can get through it, maybe I can.

[arrecho]

You shouldn't be alone right now. You don't have to be either. You tried that, look where it got you. Relapsed and suicidal. If you clean up, you'd be entitled to access. Justin's gotten through it with incredible support networks. No one can do it alone, Cole.

[chicomalo]

I'm always happy to give you another problem with a punch in the face if you hurt my bro again.